Writer: Gia Miller
Clinical Experts: Laura Phillips, PsyD, ABPdN , Jodi Musoff, MA, MEd , Kenya Hameed,
PsyD , Julia Nunan-Saah, PhD
There’s still a great deal of uncertainty surrounding school openings this fall. Remote
learning, in-person classes, some of both? But even if you don’t know quite what
school will look like this year, there are still things you can do to set your child up to
succeed.
Set Boundaries
First, parents should be clear on what their role is. “Spring was a really quick pivot for
parents, teachers and students,” says Laura Phillips, PsyD, a clinical
neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “But teachers are now planning in a way
they couldn’t before, and parents should be assured that they don’t have to be their
child’s teacher this fall.”
Parents have enough on their plates and setting boundaries around remote learning
will decrease stress and help ensure you have more bandwidth to support your child.
“As a parent, your role is to assist your kids during remote learning by providing the
right amount of support and structure, and to help them problem-solve,” says Dr.
Philips. “It’s not your job to teach your kids.”
Communicate with teachers
One way you can begin to establish a partnership is by reaching out to your child’s
teachers via email prior to the start of the school year to introduce yourself (and your
child) and initiate a collaborative relationship.
“Some teachers will need to balance both live and remote teaching at the same time,
and some will need to balance different groupings of kids, so approach them with an
understanding that they will have a lot to manage,” Jodi Musoff, MA, MEd, an
educational specialist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends. In that introductory
email, include information about how your child handled distance learning this past
spring and their academic strengths and weaknesses. You can also take the
opportunity to ask questions.
If there’s anything going on at home that might affect your child’s learning this fall —
something that’s certainly true of many kids these days! — now is a great chance to fill
teachers in. “I really believe in more communication rather than less,” says Faith
Hunter, lower school principal at Little Red School House in New York. If you’re
stretched thin and juggling other responsibilities, if your child is having a hard time
sharing a work space with siblings, if they’re struggling socially — whatever it is,
knowing the context will make it easier for teachers to be sensitive to your child’s
needs.
“Be patient and don’t expect to receive a response immediately,” advises Kenya
Hameed, PsyD, a clinical neuropsychologist at Child Mind Institute. “Teachers may not
start looking at these emails until they’re officially on the clock.” But by reaching out to
them now, you’re getting a jump on the personal connection that will help your child
thrive once fall arrives.
Get your child organized
Keeping supplies and information organized is a common challenge for kids of any
age, especially with the switch to remote learning. This is particularly important for
children who have ADHD, since their executive functioning challenges may make it
difficult to manage multiple teachers, programs and websites.
“Help create some scaffolding for your children before school begins by making a list
of the different platforms they’ll need to check to learn about upcoming meetings and
assignments,” says Dr. Phillips. “When you don’t see your teachers in person, it’s easy
to be unaware of what you have to do, so knowing where their assignments are
posted will set them up for success.”
These details might seem secondary to the things your child is learning in school, but
they’re actually a crucial foundation. “At a minimum, there are basic things that your
child needs in order to show up and learn,” says Dr. Hameed. She recommends
helping kids get a strong start by setting up an environment that helps facilitate
schoolwork and making sure they’re comfortable using important tools (like tablets)
before classes begin. Some examples of this could be:
Working together to set up a quiet workspace and experimenting with what
works best for your child — this could mean a separate room, designating a
specific portion of a shared space, or a set of noise-cancelling headphones that
makes it easier to focus. If your children are sharing a space, you can
encourage them to personalize their area by decorating a presentation board or
cardboard box to serve as a privacy screen.
Designating spots to store writing utensils, paper, books, handouts and any
other materials they need.
Making sure you have a reliable internet connection.
Checking to confirm that your child’s tablet or laptop is working and that they
know how to use it.
Taking some time to explore any websites or programs the school is using
together so that your child feels comfortable navigating the tech on their own.
Making a physical list of important passwords kids might need to remember and
putting it in a safe, accessible place.
Settle into routines
If your child is distance or hybrid learning, it’s helpful if you can create a routine that’s
similar to what they would experience if they were attending school in person. “One of
the most important things to ask teachers is for the flow of a typical day and the
materials your child should have,” says Hunter. “It’ll allow you to really think about how
you can encourage your child to gain the same independence that they would have in
the classroom.”
For example, elementary school children may put their picture on an attendance chart
when they arrive at school and then make sure their supplies are organized for the
day. Next, there might be a morning meeting or a look ahead at the day’s schedule.
You won’t be able to replicate these routines exactly, but talking to teachers can help
you understand what kids would ordinarily expect, and brainstorm manageable ways
to give them a similar sense of structure at home. This doesn’t have to be elaborate
— it might just be a few reliable steps that kids can count on to make transitions
easier.
Teachers typically spend the first six weeks of the school year building these essential
routines so children can move comfortably through the day. Partnering with your
child’s teachers to establish a similar framework at home means that, eventually, your
child will be able to go through their day with less assistance from you. You’ll get some
of your time back and they’ll gain more confidence — everyone benefits.
Ease anxiety about an unusual school year
Distance and hybrid learning models will make it much more difficult for your child to
get to know their teachers and classmates this year. Think creatively about how you
can help your child develop a connection with them, and don’t hesitate to ask the
teacher what you both can do to build that bond.
For instance, children with social anxiety often visit their schools to meet their
teachers and see their classrooms before the school year begins. Dr. Phillips
suggests that parents consider asking if there are any similar opportunities for their
children to see a real, live human prior to the first day of school, whether it’s over
video chat or at a socially distant face-to-face meeting. Or, you could ask your child
what they’d like their teacher to know about them and email it to the teacher, perhaps
including some of their own questions for the teacher as well. Even just making
introductory notes for your child to keep on hand can reduce anxiety around remote
learning — that way, when it’s time for that icebreaker activity on the first day of class,
they won’t have to think of what to say on the spot.
For children transitioning from elementary to middle school, moving to a larger
campus and from one teacher to many (all with potentially different teaching styles
and online systems) can be overwhelming under normal circumstances, so be sure to
talk with your child ahead of time about what that might feel like.
The same goes for other big transitions, like moving up to high school or changing
schools. “All transitions take a while to get used to, but they eventually even out,” says
Julia Nunan-Saah, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist at Child Mind Institute. “Set
expectations, and let kids know it may take a month to get used to this new system.
Remind them of their coping strategies for when there are bumps in the road and
assure them that you’ll be there to help them get through it.”
Schedule family time
Separating school life and its stressors from family life will continue to be a challenge
for those who are distance learning, but it’s important to create a distinction when you
can.
If it’s manageable for your family, try to create a transitional period between
schoolwork and home life to create a more positive atmosphere. Scheduling fun
activities for evenings and weekends, like a game night or a hike, can also provide the
relaxation and sense of connection that will help your child focus and learn during the
school day.
Even just planning quick, regular check-ins with your child — over breakfast, for
example — can make a big difference. That bit of planning gives your child confidence
that you’re facing these new challenges together, and it provides a built-in time for
them to come to you with any concerns as the school year goes on.
This article was last reviewed or updated on August 29, 2021